In a world where online dating is so prominent, if you decide to do things old school and attend an in person dating event, it can actually be quite intimidating. One of the biggest barriers being; how to start a conversation at a singles event.
It sounds silly, right? But seriously, it’s one of the biggest concerns I hear. Because that icebreaker is all important and could define how the evening goes.
No pressure there then!
I know how you’re picturing it. You’re going to walk into a crowded room. Lots of people are already deep in conversion, there’s laughter and smiles all around and you don’t know where to start.
Do you interrupt a conversation?
Do you stand at the bar and hope someone approaches you?
Do you smile and try to get someone’s attention?
Stop panicking! Believe it or not, it’s not like that at all.
The good news is, everyone there is feeling the same way and the initial awkwardness soon passes and an enjoyable evening will be had by all.
But, just in case you’re worrying, I thought now would be a good time to look at 5 ways to start a conversation at a singles event.
A singles event is not too dissimilar to a business networking event. The purpose is the same; To find like minded people to build a relationship with.
As with networking, it can be difficult to know how to start a conversation but once you’re in a flow, the rest is easy.
So relax, book your ticket and in case you need it, here are a few pointers from me!
5 ways to start a conversation at a singles event
1. Smile
It’s not always about what you say. It’s about how inviting you are. You are not going to start a conversation with anyone if you’re the one looking grumpy at the bar!
Make eye contact with someone you think looks interesting and give them a smile. It shows them that you would like to have a conversation with them and you’re open to letting them approach you.
2. Introduce yourself
Perhaps the most obvious but also the one that people forget the most. When you first approach someone, introduce yourself.
Start with your name and invite them to share theirs. It’s the most simple conversation starter but when the nerves get to you, it’s the easiest to forget.
We encourage people to wear name stickers at our events, so half of the work is done for you 🙂
3. Open ended questions
Think of it as an interview. Just as you wouldn’t ask a closed question in that scenario, if you don’t want the conversation to ground to a screeching halt, then closed questions are a no no!
Some examples of ‘open ended’ questions are,
- How do you usually spend your weekends?
- What’s the most memorable trip you’ve ever taken?
- How did you get into your current line of work?
- What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?
- What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
- And of course, there’s the classic, “do you come here often?”
Okay, okay, I know it’s a cliche and I’m half kidding but actually, it is a great opening line!
Especially at a dating event.
Maybe not “do you come here often?” exactly but something along the lines of “what made you decide to come to this event?”
This can actually be the perfect ice-breaker and guarantees a deeper conversation about the single life.
Did you know we have conversation starter cards at most of our singles events?
4. Be complimentary
If you’ve noticed something good about someone, don’t be afraid to tell them. Whether it’s their outfit, an accessory or you overheard them talking about something interesting, let them know.
It’s a great way to show you’re genuinely interested and you’re happy to listen. Afterall, as much as you are there to get to know each other, it can’t all be about you.
Don’t go overboard and don’t be disingenuous. Only compliment on something you genuinely like about them. Most people can spot ‘fake’ a mile off!
5. Be yourself
The most important one. When you approach someone at a singles event or they approach you, first impressions count. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, it will be obvious to them very quickly that you are putting on an act.
Nerves aside, you should always bring your most authentic self because there’s no-one else out there like you.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not. The whole point of these events is to meet people you really connect with. If you’re not being true about who you are, the connection won’t be real.
Remember that starting a conversation with someone you don’t know, however daunting, is an opportunity to make a connection and potentially form a new friendship or relationship.
Everyone at the event is in the same boat as you. All nervous and unsure of what to expect but remember that you could put the sunshine into someone’s day.
Approach it with an open mind and a positive attitude, and you’ll be surprised how easy the conversation will flow.
