As with any business venture, you get to learn what works and what doesn’t as you go along and every now and again, certain things come up that need a little more thought and explanation. One of the topics that has come to my attention lately is the age guidance for our singles events.
It’s fair to say that Single & Mingle events have taken off. As I sit here writing this, I’m kind of in awe of how many people have embraced that old school idea of meeting people face to face rather than the modern way of online dating – over 1800 if you’re interested (as of 22 April 2024).
I have had the best time over the last couple of years meeting so many lovely people and hearing those heart warming stories of those who click on the night, but something has come to my attention that I feel I need to address.
Grab a coffee, put your feet up and settle in because this one will have you ready for a debate!
Let's talk about age guidance at Single & Mingle events
Single & Mingle events have an age range guide. For example, 40s & 50s, or 20s & 30s.
I will always put an age guidance on the event. It will either state a specific age range or it will specify that it’s open to all ages.
The reason I do this is because it lets you guys know what to expect, or more importantly, who to expect.
Occasionally, I have someone show up who doesn’t fit into that specific age range. The questions we need to ask here are;
- Am I wrong for allowing them to book?
- Are they wrong for assuming it would be ok?
- Or should we just live and let live and not worry about it?
I’m in the live and let live category and I’m going to explain my reasons why.
Should we be more strict with our singles event age guidance?
Before I get into it, I want to tell you why I put an age guidance in place if I’m not going to be strict with it?
Let’s be honest, when there is a specific age range attached to one of our events, the chances are, the vast majority, if not all of the attendees will fit into that range. However, now and again, someone outside of that age range will book and it’s not a mistake.
We put an age guidance in place so you know what you’re getting. You can be confident in the fact that the majority of people attending will sit somewhere within that range. If you’re a 31 year old, it stands to reason you would want to go to a 20s & 30s or 30s & 40s event because it’s likely that those within the same age range will have more in common with you.
Are you with me so far?
Let me ask you another question. Have you ever dated someone who is much older or younger than you? Come on, own up, it’s not that uncommon.
Many of you will have done, and you’ve been attracted to that person for reasons other than their age. It could be that you wanted to be with someone more mature, who had lived a little, or that you’re very young at heart and you find that those closer to your age simply can’t keep up. Good on you!
What you need to bear in mind is that we are all different and we want different things in a partner and we should be able to look for that person without fear of judgment.
I actually think it takes a lot of courage to attend an event with a specified age range if you are clearly much older or younger.
Why would someone want to attend an event that doesn’t fit with their current age?
Well, like I said, we are all attracted to people for different reasons.
Let’s change the perspective a bit. If a twenty two year old attended an event that had an age range of thirty to forty, would you think twice? I suspect not.
If a sixty year old attended the same event, what would your thoughts be then?
The truth is, I’ve had people as young as twenty five attend an event aimed at fifty to sixty year olds and I’ve had someone in their sixties attend an event aimed at thirty to forty year olds.
Guess which one felt judged?
I have girlfriends who will only date older men on the basis that they are more settled, and more likely to want a stable relationship. There never seems to be a problem with this but if I had a male friend who would only date younger women because they are likely to be more carefree, they would probably be far more judged for it.
Someone older may enjoy dating younger people purely because they are young at heart, are physically fit and find the company of someone younger fits better with their personality.
Someone younger may enjoy dating older people because they are likely to enjoy the simpler things in life.
You just never know!
In fact, our sister company, We Just Clicked, revamp people’s dating profiles all the time, and have found that people are very much open to meeting people outside of their age range.
I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that I don’t feel I need to be strict with this. At the end of the day, the age guidance is just that; guidance, and if you feel comfortable enough to turn up to an event, knowing you are likely to stand out a little then kudos to you.
But if this happens at an event you are attending, please don’t judge. If it’s not for you, you are not obligated to strike up a conversation, you can simply smile, be polite and move on.
It’s all good. It won’t stop you from having fun and meeting some amazing people.
Live and let live. Come along, have the most amazing night and remember the word ‘guidance’ is exactly what it says on the tin!
Gemma x
