Attending a singles event can be a little overwhelming, especially if you are new to it or have made the brave decision to go alone.
It will naturally feel a little awkward and knowing how to get in on the conversation can seem like an intimidating prospect.
When you see people already deep in conversation, it can be hard to even consider interrupting because it will feel rude but if there’s one occasion where you can get away with it, it’s at a singles night.
The reality is, you are single and there to mingle so having the confidence to get in on the conversation is a far better idea than standing alone at the bar all evening.
I often get asked about etiquette and how to get in on the conversation without appearing rude, so I thought I would share a few tips that I’ve picked up along the way.
Check out my insight on how to get in on the conversation at a singles event
Observe
You’re already feeling a little nervous and overwhelmed so before jumping in, take a moment to breathe and observe the room. Look for body language cues to see if the conversation is open to newcomers.
There will naturally be groups forming. You should be able to clearly define between the groups who are closed and those who are open. Always head to the friendlier, more open groups of singles.
Not that I’m saying other groups won’t be friendly, it may just be that they have found their footing a little quicker and are already in a deeper conversation.
It’s not always rude to interrupt
This is a tricky one and will feel clunky at first. But remember, if people are talking in groups, no one would expect you to stand on the outside looking in. It’s perfectly reasonable to try and integrate yourself into the conversation. The question is, how?
If you’re trying to integrate yourself into a group, you have two options.
1 – Your smile is everything! Confidently walk up to the group, smile, wait for the acknowledgment and then introduce yourself. Perhaps a simple, ‘I’m ______, is it ok to interrupt?’
2 – Listen for a moment and wait for an opportunity to join in the conversation. When there’s a gap, jump in and share your opinion or thoughts on the topic.
Remember, once you’re in, you’re in and don’t worry about being judged. Everyone in that group is in the same boat.
Move along!
Some singles events may have a bell system which means that you will have a set amount of time to talk to someone. When the bell rings, you are expected to move along.
Sometimes, you may find yourself having the best conversation and feel reluctant to leave but as far as dating etiquette is concerned, it’s the way it is at these events so my suggestion would be to indicate you would like to catch up again later and make your way back at an appropriate time.
Trust me when I say you will have the chance to meet again. It’s the name of the game but it shouldn’t be something that holds up others or prevents the event from moving forward.
Have a good conversation starter at the ready
Bin the old classics! You don’t have to go in with ‘what’s your name?’ or ‘where are you from?’. This is the ideal opportunity for you to stand out so come up with some opening questions beforehand and show that you are someone to be taken notice of.
Think outside the box. Open questions tend to be a conversation starter, whilst closed questions will give you one word answers and nowhere to go.
Consider questions such as,
- How do you usually spend your weekend?
- What’s the most memorable trip you’ve ever taken?
- How did you get into your current line of work?
- What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?
- What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
You could even take in your surroundings and make them laugh by bringing out the old cliche, ‘do you come here often?’. Make sure there’s a smile on your face when you say it though!
What you need to remember is that everyone there is going through or has been through the same, nervous feelings that you are feeling right now and everyone expects to be interrupted at some point.
It’s expected that people will want to join in the conversation mid way through so you will not be doing anything that everyone else there hasn’t done before you.
My biggest tip though is to be brave. If you have taken the bold step of attending the event in the first place, then now is not the time to be a wallflower. This is your time to be confident, shine and stand out as the amazing person you are.
Go get ‘em Tiger!
